Thursday, December 1, 2011

My B.S. Holiday To Do List

It's here!  The holiday season!  That wonderful time of year when we slow down and enjoy time with our loved ones.

So why the hell are there so many dumb ass b.s. things on my To Do List? 

I feel as if my To Do List is oppressively long.  Address Christmas cards!  Bake cookies!  Wrap presents!  Get a wreath!  Put out decorations!  Buy more decorations!  Holy crap we need more decorations!  Make a gingerbread house because oh my god if you do not make a gingerbread house, the whole world will hate you.  Make an Avent Calendar because the magic of the season will be RUINED unless you have a homemade Advent Calendar made from lace, macaroni and elf dust.  Why are you sleeping?  That's not on the To Do List!  You can sleep in 2012!  You have to bake more cookies!  Why are you using store bought butter?  YOU NEED TO CHURN YOUR OWN BUTTER OR SANTA WILL CRY.

(Excuse me while I go lie down and have a panic attack).

But here's the thing about my holiday To Do List: it's mostly bullcrap.  Oh sure, I still need to buy a few more presents.  And yes, I would like to mail our Christmas cards before Valentine's Day.  But everything else is OPTIONAL and does not actually belong on my To Do List. 

I've deleted most of my holiday "to do's" from my To Do List.  For example, I thought it would be fun to make homemade Christmas gifts.  But then I remembered: knitting a scarf at 3 a.m. is not fun.  Cross "homemade gifts" off the list.  I also wanted to make a Christmas village for the mantle.  I had this murky vision that involved lots of glitter. And then I had a vision of myself in the ER, with my elbow glue-gunned to my forehead.  Cross "glitter Christmas village" off the list.  

Now that I've revised my Holiday To Do list, I am much more excited for December.  I've embraced a new mantra: I am not Martha Stewart; I do not have an army of interns at my beck and call; I do not need to buy any more freaking decorations. 

Instead, I'm going to sit and enjoy the (fake) Christmas tree in our living room.  Oh sure, it has lots of gaps and needs more decorations.  I suppose I could spend every free moment crafting and shopping for more ornaments.  But instead, I smile and remember that every year, our tree will have a few more ornaments.  And someday, we'll have too many ornaments. But this year, right now, we have just the right amount.

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