Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Secret Christmas Wish List

When I was little, one of the best parts about Christmas was the Sears Wish Book.  My brother and I flipped through the catalog and initialed the toys that we wanted for Christmas.  I would try to be conservative and initial just a reasonable number of gifts.   But then I got drunk on the pages and pages of toys - doll houses!  ant farms!  boardgames!  stuffed animals!  microscopes!  swing sets!  And like a drunken frat boy, I would black out and initial about 370 different toys. 

It was not the best strategy.  Did I really expect Santa to deliver 370 toys?  I was a pretty good kid, but no one is that good.  I should have initialed, at most, ten or twelve toys, and maximized my chances of getting the toys that I really wanted. 

Sears still publishes the Wish Book, but I stopped initialing its pages years ago.  And if I did initial its pages today, I'd mark boring crap, like a humidifier, new dust buster, and a soap dispenser.  (If I was feeling really sassy, I'd initial a set of metal shelves for the garage). 

But even though I've grown up, I still have an unattainable wish list.  I suppose you could say I've graduated from the Sears Wish Book.  This year, I secretly covet:

- A Segway (but I would graciously accept a golf cart, dune buggy or a mint green Vespa).
- A confetti cannon (a girl should always be ready to make a dramatic entrance).
- A copy of Thump, Thump, Thump, one of my favorite books when I was a child.  It's out of print now.  Maybe Santa will steal the library's copy for me?

As you can see, I have matured.  My secret wish list does not include an Italian villa, a pet dinosaur or dinner with Benjamin Franklin.  Its short and very practical.  Santa should be able to fit these gifts down my chimney easily.

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