I recently posted about my favorite children's movies, and my list included Jim Henson's Labyrinth. Shortly thereafter, I was flipping through a magazine and noticed an ad with photos from that movie. I assumed the movie was getting a theatrical re-release and rejoiced. But then I actually read the ad and discovered it was not an ad for the theatrical or Blu-ray release of Labyrinth. It was an ad for Labyrinth Perfume, the new line of Labyrinth inspired perfume.
I don't know where to start. But first, just to get it out of the way: what the &$^( I mean seriously *(&$@) holy *(&@) are they kidding @^%(# what next &$@(*@)##!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In no particular order, several more thoughts:
1. Labyrinth was released in 1986. It's 2012. Does anyone else see a timing problem? If not, I suppose now is a good time for some Caddyshack ketchup, Pretty in Pink bathroom towels, and a Back to the Future wristwatch collection.
2. Is this a new trend I did not know about? Are perfume scents based on movies from the 1980s the new "it" beauty product? If so, then I need some Return of the Jedi perfume and Nathan needs some Ghostbusters cologne (it looks like green slime but smells like marshmallows and twinkies).
3. They did not just make one Labyrinth inspired scent - there are five! Including one named "Hoggle" after the ugly creature that guides Jennifer Connolly's character through the labyrinth. The scent is described as "fermented pumpkin, brown leather, dust, tobacco leaf, and dark woods." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DUST? Is that really a desirable scent? Are people paying money so they can smell like DUST? And "dark woods"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but is that just a fancy way to say "DIRT AND POOP"? Holy crap, screw my legal degree, I've got plenty of stuff in my garbage can that I can jam into a perfume bottle.
4. At $26 per bottle, it's a little too expensive for a gag gift. And yet, I'm fairly certain I need to buy a bottle of Jareth for my Cousin Julie asap.