Thursday, June 21, 2012

To Bee or Not To Bee?

My apologies for the lame title, but I could not resist. A few weeks ago, I noticed some bees humming around the tree in front of our house. There were just a few bees, so I did not worry about the situation. However, one of my neighbors called the City of Pasadena, and a person from the Department of Health did this to the front of my house: 

The bees themselves have not caused any trouble; but the red tape has prompted screams from teenage girls and sent neighbors running across the street. I realize the City was trying to prevent bee stings with the red tape, but I think they are just daring little boys to throw rocks at the tree until a swarm of bee descends upon my neighborhood like a Biblical plague.

A few days after the tape went up, the Bee Guy arrived:

It's hard to tell in the photo, but the Bee Guy basically stuck a vacuum cleaner in the tree to suck out the bees. This made the bees VERY ANXIOUS, ANGRY AND ANNOYED. Before the Bee Guy arrived, I had seen, at most, five or six bees hovering around the tree. Now dozens of bees were circulating the tree and having a collective nervous breakdown. I went outside for a better photo, but the Bee Guy shouted at me to get back inside. The honey badger might not care about getting stung by bees, but I do; so I watched the proceedings from the safety of my living room.

Poor bees! They just wanted to pollinate the flowers and make delicious honey! Why did we have to destroy their hive? If the City of Pasadena is going to kill all the bees, I guess we might as well outlaw flowers, sunshine, laughter and unicorns.

p.s. This probably does not need to be said, but I obviously need a beekeeper suit (or at least the beekeeper mask - very bad ass).