Wednesday, October 5, 2011

How Can I Outwit My Impending Cold?

I’m in that zone where “I might be getting a bad cold but maybe I just have an innocent sniffle.”  I never know how to handle this zone.  Maybe, just maybe, if I play my cards right, I will avoid the cold entirely.  Once I have a proper cold, I know what to do: go on a Vitamin C bender; watch a lot of t.v.; and complain to anyone who will listen.  But before the cold fully hits, I am overwhelmed by my options.
Should I keep exercising? If I take a walk outside, maybe I can trick my body into thinking I am a healthy person who never gets sick.  Or should I conserve all my precious energy so my immune system can battle the evil cold?  Am I just a lazy slug looking for an excuse to skip a day at the gym?
Should I drink lots of tea?  Staying hydrated is important, and tea is warm and soothing for my throat.  But what tea should I drink?  Probably something nasty, like chamomile.  That crap tastes like fake medicine from the middle ages.  If I had to choose between a terrible cold and chamomile tea, I would probably choose the cold.
Should I eat oranges?  Chicken soup?  I know I should eat something wholesome and mother-approved, but what I really want is ice cream.  I know that makes no sense, but when I’m sick or getting sick, I must have ice cream.  Getting a cold?  I want ice cream.  Headache?  I need ice cream. The worst ever case of the flu?  Where’s the effing ice cream???
Like I said, I have no idea how to handle the pre-cold stage.  And, as I wrote this, my sniffle turned into a headache.  Damnit, I’m screwed. Where's the ice cream?

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