Friday, October 21, 2011

Halloween Candy Update

In this post, I bragged about our Halloween candy and hinted that I'll be distributing "bad candy" to any surly adolescents who knock on my door.  But my husband observed that we only have elite candy. I only bought chocolate!  Is a teenager going to be devastated by a Milky Way or miniature Hershey's bar?  

So I supplemented our candy supplies:

This sad-ass, non-chocolate, second-tier candy is for the older trick-or-treaters who make no effort in the costume department.  The trick-or-treaters who say "trick-or-treat," but the subtext is "F*** you."  This candy is reserved for them.

To be clear: I am not withholding candy from all of the adolescents/teens who knock on my door.  If the trick-or-treater makes even the slightest nod to wearing a costume, then I'll let them dig through the good candy bowl.  I'm not asking for a full pirate costume with hat, sword, beard, striped shirt, hook hand, peg leg and a novelty parrot on the shoulder.  I'm just asking for an eye patch.

But jeans and a hoodie sweathshirt?  That's not a costume.  Sorry kid, enjoy your lollipop.

Now if you'll excuse me,  I think I'll leave this candy outside until Halloween.  Maybe a wild animal will rough it up.  Let's see how those surly teenagers like finding raccoon bite marks in their candy.

No comments:

Post a Comment