Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Baseball's Latest Fashion Statement

As I've mentioned before, my husband is a rabid Cardinals fan and we have been watching a lot of baseball this month.  Nathan notices things like the pitcher's stance or how the batter swings the bat.  He scrutinizes the Rangers for weaknesses that the Cardinals can exploit.  Then, he references some game that was played in 1967 and rattles off a bunch of stats.

I pay attention to the fashion on the field.

Usually, I like to talk about the players' socks.  Ideally, a player should be wearing bright socks that are pulled up to the knees.  It looks so bad ass!  If I could walk around in public wearing white spandex pants and red socks pulled up to my knees, believe me, I would. 

But this month, I've been noticing the jewelry more than the socks.  Yes, the players are wearing jewelry: specifically, thick colorful braided necklaces.  You can see a sample for sale here.

After some exhaustive research (okay, I checked Google), I determined the players are wearing ionic braided titanium necklaces.  Apparently, it's a Miracle Necklace.  Folks, this necklace does not just look cool.  It also improves your balance, reduces fatigue, and aids in recovery if you get a bad boo boo. 

I need one of these necklaces for the gym.  Not because some ionic titanium is going to improve my form on the rowing machine.  (Knowing my luck, I'm probably allergic to ionized titanium in its braided form and will get a horrible rash).  But at the gym, I need some credibility.  I'm the weakling who uses the five pound weights for her biceps curls (and that's only because I can't find any four pound weights).  On the cardio machines, I slog along at the slowest pace.  And on the stretching mats, I'm the fool who can't touch her toes.

But once I have an ionic braided titanium necklace, everyone will take me seriously.  My gym colleagues will flock to me for advice.  Personal trainers will start to read my blog for tips.  The gym will give me my own locker room.  It will be glorious.  I just need to wear an ionic braided titanium necklace like all the cool baseball players.  

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