Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My New Danish Neighbor

Last weekend, our new neighbors finally moved into the vacant house next door.  In an earlier post, I worried and speculated that the new neighbors might have evil children.  I'm not talking about children who are a little noisy and climb trees.  I'm talking about children who are destined to be on America's Most Wanted list.  

The new neighbors do not have any children.  Instead, they have a dog.  And by dog, I'm not talking about Lassie.  I'm talking about a Great Dane that looks like a mythical beast from the Age of Heroes and is about as large as a small horse.

Rather than panic, I have decided to be cautiously optimistic.  The Great Dane has a reputation of being a gentle giant that is very good-natured and friendly.  My Danish neighbor and I will probably become good friends.  I'll slip her doggie treats, and she'll scare away any intruders.

But I'm a little concerned that my new Danish neighbor is going to tear out my throat before we can become friends.  Our houses are only divided by a white picket fence.  The fence is high, yes, but it is also old.  It will probably turn to dust under the weight of a galloping Great Dane.  And, whenever I go outside, the Great Dane barks and gallops towards the fence.  

Let me tell you what happens when a Great Dane starts to gallop towards you.  You don't think "what a magnificent, noble beast" or "Great Danes are by nature very friendly creatures."  No.  When a Great Dane starts to gallop towards you, you only have one thought: "I'm going to die." 

Like I said, I am cautiously optimistic.  The Dane will obviously get used to my presence and stop charging every time I go outside, right?  However, if I disappear from this blog, please alert the authorities.  Tell them that I have been mauled by a Great Dane and require immediate medical attention. 

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