Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Feed the Birds

Did you know that February is National Bird Feeding Month?  Yeah, me neither.  And, the National Bird-Feeding Society has not updated the page on its website for 2012, so maybe the tradition died with 2011.  Regardless!  A half-loaf of stale bread was languishing in my bread box, and the Pasadena weather was exceptionally gorgeous last week.  I decided to partake in the National Bird Feeding Month festivities.

I walked to a nearby park that has several picnic tables and a swing set.  I have eaten lunch at this park before, and the birds always swarm and forage for scraps. 

It was late morning when I arrived, and I could hear the birds.  I scattered the crumbs for the first slice of bread.  Knowing the birds would be cautious, I tossed the crumbs far away from me.  Nothing happened.  The birds ignored the crumbs.

Hmm.  I scattered the crumbs for a second slice of bread.  Still, no sign of any hungry birds.

I realized the grass I had been scattering the crumbs on was wet, so I tossed the crumbs for Slices 3 and 4 on a dry walkway.  A few birds flew to some neighboring trees, but they just continued their morning songs.  Maybe it was too early for breakfast?  But doesn't the early bird catch the early worm??

By the time I had scattered all of my bread crumbs, one bird had swooped down, landed on the walkway, looked at the crumbs, and flown away.  Said bird had not eaten anything.  And that was it.  I could see and hear dozens of birds, but they were all rejecting my bread.  What the eff?

Were the birds intimidated by my presence?  This seemed unlikely, since they were haunting a CITY PUBLIC PARK that is often full of rowdy children.  But, just in case, I walked away for five minutes.  When I returned, I expected to see a frenzy of birds attacking my crumbs.

But no.  The birds were still in the trees, and my crumbs were still on the ground, just as I had scattered them.

Dejected, I walked home.  What was wrong with my bread crumbs?  Did the Southern California avian community collectively decide to go on the Atkins Diet?  Or, are the birds of Pasadena boycotting National Bird Feeding Month?  WHY DIDN'T THEY WANT MY FREAKING BREAD CRUMBS???

Excuse me, I have to go write a letter to the National Bird-Feeding Society.  Something needs to be done about these uppity Pasadena birds.