Friday, January 20, 2012

Wild Hog Hunting?

Do you have a gmail account?  Have you noticed the ads that appear in your inbox?  (Of course you have - they are impossible to ignore).

Have you noticed how the ads are related to the content of the emails you send?  Usually, I can see the connection between the ads and my emails.  When I was emailing about my wedding, I was bombarded with ads for wedding planners and florists.  When my friends email about their babies, I get ads for diapers and nannies.  

But sometimes, the ads make no sense.

Case in point, this ad recently appeared in my inbox: 

It's an ad for free wild hog hunting in Texas.  Because apparently, based on my email traffic, Google thinks I'm the sort of person who wants to go to Texas to hunt wild hogs. 

I don't think I can point out all the problems with this scenario, but I'll try:
  • This is an ad to go HUNTING.  Now, I might go hunting for the perfect pair of jeans or a new purse, but hunting for wild animals?  That will never happen.
  • But, if I were to go hunting, I would go hunting for a small animal, like a squirrel, a sparrow or a beetle.  I would not go hunting for a HOG.
  • But, if I had to go hunting for a hog, I would try to track down the tamed hog with the gimp leg that got out of its pen.  You know, the sort of friendly hog that likes to cuddle with humans.  But a WILD pig with tusks and foam at the mouth?  I'd rather go to Wal-mart on Black Friday.
  • But, if I woke up tomorrow and decided that I really need to go hunting for wild hogs, I would sign up for a very posh expedition.  I'm talking about the Four Seasons version of wild hog hunting.  I'm not going on some FREE trip with One-Eyed Bob and Crazy Harry.  A free wild hog hunting trip sounds like the premise for a horror movie.
  • Finally, the trip is in TEXAS.  Look, if Disneyland decided to set up a wild hog hunting attraction behind the Small World castle, I might be interested.  Or, if Bloomingdales decided to sponsor wild hog hunting trips in its Manhattan store, that might be cool.  But Texas?  As in, the state that is Most Likely To Secede In the Next Five Years?  How stupid do I look?
For future reference, I am not interested in any free wild hog hunting trips in Texas.