Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Take Down Your Christmas Decorations! Immediately! If Not Sooner!

Every neighborhood has that house.  The house that has a car parked on the lawn, a pile of junk in the driveway, broken windows, and a tarp that has been on the roof since the 80s.  When those neighbors put up their Christmas decorations, you know Santa's plastic butt will still be sticking out of the chimney in July.

But this year, an egregious number of houses in my neighborhood are still decorated for Christmas.  Houses with well-manicured lawns and freshly painted shutters are still decorated as if it's December 24th.  PEOPLE, IT'S LATE JANUARY PUT AWAY YOUR DECORATIONS ALREADY.

I am willing to overlook the houses that leave up a strand of Christmas lights all year.  It does not matter how carefully you put away the lights: little demons will sneak into your garage and tie the strands into knots.  And putting up the lights is a dangerous task which can result in back injuries and/or divorce.  If a family decides to avoid these liabilities by keeping up the lights all year, more power to them.

But that doesn't mean you can leave a three foot Santa statue on your front porch all year.  And yes, red is the color of both Christmas and Valentine's Day, but Cupid is not interested in the plastic candy canes lining yor driveway.  PUT THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS AWAY.  If you have the time and energy to put the decorations out after Thanksgiving, then surely you can find a way to put them away no later than January 15th.  That's right, I am giving you until January 15th to put the decorations away.  I believe I am being very reasonable, even generous, with the January 15 deadline.  If you want to procrastinate for two full weeks after the ball drops at Times Square, have at it.  I will not judge you. 

But, if your lights are up after January 15, that is a Christmas Decorations FOUL and you will be cited by the Christmas Decorations Police.  Now, put your stockings and Christmas trees away before I get really mad.