I have two confessions to make.
Confession One: I can identify the sound of my neighborhood's UPS truck with 100% accuracy. I know the sound of that engine better than I know the sound of my own breathing. Once I hear the UPS engine, I can immediately discern whether the truck is (a) speeding down the street towards its next delivery or (b) making a stop on my block. If the truck is stopping, I can predict, with 95% accuracy, whether or not the UPS guy is delivering a package to my house.
Now it is time for my second and truly pathetic confession...
Confession Two: A moment before I started typing this blog entry, I heard the UPS truck stop in front of my house. Then, I heard the tell-tale thud of a package being left at my doorstop. I am so excited. I LOVE PACKAGES FROM UPS!!! I want to open the door and claim my package NOW, but I am forcing myself to wait five minutes because I am a mature adult with an exciting and interesting life. But really, I can't stand the idea that I'm sitting here, on my leather chair, and the package is out there, shivering on the front porch.
If I'm going to be completely honest, I must confess that I am only writing this blog entry to help myself pass the time before I am allowed to retrieve the newly delivered cardboard box.
Yay! Time to get my new box! I hope it's from Amazon!
And I've reached a new low.