Monday, January 30, 2012

Unsolicited Advice for Brides-to-Be: You Have to Send A Thank You Note ASAP, End of Discussion

Last summer, Nathan and I had our wedding, and it was just wonderful.  Now that I have planned a wedding and reception, I have opinions.  Lots of opinions.  I've decided to write a series of blog posts to immortalize my opinions. 

I'm writing these blog posts for my baby sister (who I call Spucky - it's a long story).  Someday, Spucky will get married.  And I will want to go into "Annoying Overly Opinionated Big Sister" mode and tell her everything I know about weddings.  But instead of making her listen to my inane ramblings, I will just tell her, "Hey, Spucky, I wrote some blog posts about weddings."  Then I can send her the link to the posts, and she can pretend she read and valued all my opinions.  It's a win-win: I get to share my opinions, and my little sister does not actually have to listen to them.   (Hey, Spucky: you're welcome).

First up: thank you notes.

Spucky, you have to send thank you notes ASAP.  I've heard some "etiquette experts" say that thank you notes just need to be sent within a year of the wedding.  This is bullshit.  Some lazy asshole bride made this rule up years ago to make herself feel better.

Don't be a lazy asshole bride.  Thank you notes must be sent within one month of receipt of the gift. 

These days, most gifts are delivered to your front door.  You need to send a thank you note so the gift giver knows the gift was not lost in the mail or stolen.  For example, I have not received a thank you note for a gift I sent to a bride and groom ten months ago, and I have no idea what happened.  I feel rude asking "hey, did you ever get that gift I sent you."   So, instead, I assume they are rude effers.  Seriously, I spent $100 on a gift - they need to take two minutes to send a card. 

If you have to write 100 thank you notes in one sitting, it's an overwhelming pain in the ass.  But your gifts will arrive on a rolling basis.  If you send out the thank you notes as the gifts arrive, then you will only have to write a few at a time.  Just keep your stationary, stamps and address labels in an easily accessible spot and make a habit of sending out thank you notes every two weeks.  You will be a Thank You Note Rock Star and everyone will think you are incredibly thoughtful and courteous.

Have fun with the thank you notes.  After my shower, I had to write about 25 thank you notes in one sitting (that was a pain in the ass).  I used Yoda thank you notes for some good friends who would appreciate the Star Wars humor. 

Make the decision early on to stay on top of the thank you notes, and they will never feel like a burden.  (Except after your shower, but a glass of wine and some Yoda thank you notes will ease that burden quickly).