Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Missoni Mayhem: The Sacking of Target

Designer labels generally do not interest me, but I have coveted a Missoni cardigan for years.  But, alas, I never invested in one for two reasons: (a) the price tag, and (b) the delicate fabrics.  I knew I would ruin the cardigan sooner rather than later and then curse myself for wasting my money.  (As I wrote this blog entry, I spilled Diet Coke ALL OVER my white t-shirt.  See, this is why I’m not allowed to own expensive clothes).
When I learned about the Missoni product line being launched at Target on September 13, 2011, I was ecstatic.  At last!  A Missoni cardigan!  For me!  At Target prices!  A pink or blue one would do nicely.
My local Target opens at 8 a.m.  I pulled into the parking lot at 8:15 a.m. so I could leisurely shop for my new Missoni cardigan.  Talk about a serious strategic error.
The store had already been overrun and sacked.  It was as if an army of female eBay sellers had laid siege to Target during the night and then raced through the store at 8 a.m. for plunder.  (Isn't the word "plunder" great?  I wish I had cause to use it more often). 
Everywhere I looked, women were racing around with wild eyes and shopping carts overflowing with Missoni clothes, Missoni pillows and Missoni suitcases.  I tried not to look very closely because they looked crazy.  And by “crazy,” I mean they looked like they would not hesitate to tear off my arm if I got too close.   
My dreams of a Target Missoni cardigan were quickly crushed.  A mere fifteen minutes after the Missoni line was released, almost all the clothes were gone. 

Shit.  Maybe I could still get a scarf? 

Damnit.  The bitches female shoppers had already sacked the scarf aisle.   Maybe it was not too late to get a Missoni mug or Missoni picture frame?

&$%@#@**!!!!  I was seriously out of my league here.  If I had arrived when the store opened, I would have been trampled by the rabid Missoni fans and eBay sellers.  
Fortunately, I had a shopping list with such mundane items as "hand soap” and “vitamins.”  As I walked through the store, I pretended, Oh, I'm just here to pick up some household items, I didn't realize Target was releasing the Missoni line today, la de da.  In the baby section, I found some Missoni items that had been rejected by the eBay sellers.  I put a Missoni baby blanket, scarf and hat in my cart.  I kept them until it was time to check-out because I'm pathetic and wanted the option of buying a Target Missoni product.  But in the end, I ditched the baby items because Missoni for Baby just seems wrong.    
Oh well.  I didn't really want a Missoni Target cardigan.  Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go lie down and cry for a few hours. 

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