Why, after thirty-two years, did I decide to finally try L.A.’s public transportation system today? Well, it all started with a sports injury…
My husband Nathan nearly broke his foot last week playing basketball. His friend drove him to an emergency room in Pasadena. Nathan's car stayed behind in a parking lot in downtown L.A. We knew we had to retrieve the car eventually; but at first, we had other priorities (e.g. making sure the foot did not need to be amputated).
We assumed that Nathan would be able to drive within a week of the injury. This was a bad assumption. It's been eight days, and my poor husband is still hobbling around on crutches. Today, he did something very exciting: he successfully carried a cup of soda from the kitchen to the living room (a stunning distance of twenty feet). Driving is not happening anytime soon. It was time for a rescue operation.
The rescue operation needed a leader. Someone with all the qualities you expect in a hero: courage, compassion, convictions, and charisma. Since no one fitting that description was available, I volunteered.
I needed to get to downtown L.A. in order to pick up Nathan's poor beleaguered vehicle. I thought: I'll drive my car. Then I thought: no, dumb ass, how will you get your car home? Right! I needed an alternative form of transportation.
I had three options: (1) the Metro (a.k.a. the subway); (2) a taxi; or (3) a submarine. I weighed my options:
$5 day pass
At least $40, possibly more if there is a traffic jam or the taxi driver is on the lam and needs a hostage
Approximately $3 billion – I would need to buy a submarine, decorate the submarine to look like Red October, bribe government officials to build a secret underwater passage, build said passage, and buy submarine outfits
Yes! It’s about a 25 minute walk from my house to a metro spot.
Somewhat. You can’t hail a cab in Pasadena (unless you have a few years to spare), but you can call the switchboard.
No, but very bad ass.
Can I skip the gym if I use this type of transportation?
25 minute walk to the metro? Hell yeah, skip the gym!
No, you fat lazy slob. You still have to go to the gym.
p.s. I hate you.
Unknown, but who cares? You own a submarine.
Adventure Level: Scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Romancing the Stone/Indiana Jones and 1 being “eating a t.v. dinner while watching Wheel of Fortune.”
People watching + navigating the metro for the first time = A strong 6
Varies between a negative 5 (traffic, taxi driver is listening to a radio station in a language you do not speak) and an 8 (you become a pawn in a bank robbery). A taxi ride is never a 10.
11,947,228 – submarines are AWESOME.
If I had unlimited time and resources, I would have chosen the submarine. But, since I needed to pick up the car before Christmas 2018, I chose public transportation.
And I loved it. I sat on a comfortable if slightly itchy seat in an air-conditioned car. I looked out the window and saw all new parts of Pasadena. Although I would like to eventually own a submarine, for now, the L.A. Metro makes me happy.