Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Pedometer Is Obviously Lying

They say you are supposed to walk 10,000 steps a day.  (By “they,” I mean the authorities who tell us how to shape up, lose weight and stop being a lazy slug).  From time to time, I go on a pedometer kick to monitor just how many steps I am taking.  I just started my latest pedometer phase, and holy crap, the pedometer is obviously lying.

As I write this, it is nearly 11 a.m.  Since I woke up, I have walked miles and miles.  I walked back and forth from the living room to the recycling bin (we’re still disposing boxes from wedding gifts, even though the wedding was three weeks ago).  The distance from the living room to the recycling bin must be at least a ¼ of a mile.  Then, I did some light gardening.  I must have walked back and forth from the rose bushes to the yard waste bin a thousand times.  After gardening, I went to the gym.  The walk from my parked car to the weight room of my local 24 hour fitness?  Easily six or seven miles.  By my calculations, I’ve already walked my 10,000 steps for the day, and then some.

The pedometer says I have taken 4,022 steps.

Seriously?  I mean, seriously?  I need to take another 5,978 steps before bedtime?  These are my plans for the rest of the day: (1) sit on the couch and write; (2) go to the grocery store; and (3) maybe go to a coffee shop and … write.  Somehow, I am going to have to find a way to walk a few miles at the grocery store.  On the bright side, it’s nice and chilly in the ice cream aisle.

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