Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Dumbass Pregnant Brain

My cousin Emily is also pregnant, and as she likes to joke, we are basically "operating at stoner capacity." Lately I feel like Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Here are some of my favorite "pregnancy brain" moments from the past few weeks:

  • I went shopping and bought some stuff for Baby Girl. About 45 minutes later, as I was driving home, I had a nagging suspicion that my shopping bag with Baby Girl's goodies had not made it into the trunk of my car. Sure enough, when I got home, I confirmed that the shopping bag had indeed been lost at some point during my shopping excursion. Fortunately, after several phone calls, I located the errant bag and the store was happy to hold it for me. And now I shop almost exclusively online.
  • I left my yoga mat at the yoga studio and had no idea my mat was missing until my next class. Fortunately, some kind soul had turned my mat into the Lost and Found.
  • I only wash my hair every few days (if not every four or five days). With my limited energy, I can't be drying my hair every day or two! I washed my hair this past Monday. On Tuesday, I told myself, I don't need to wash my hair, I washed it yesterday. About 30 seconds later, I was in the shower, applying shampoo. Doh! Then, when I was drying my hair, I realized I had forgotten to rinse out my conditioner. Are you freaking kidding me?! As a matter of principle, I refuse to wash my hair until tomorrow morning even though it feels a little gnarly from the excess conditioner. (Le sigh).
  • Just yesterday, I decided to assemble our Diaper Genie. It looked easy enough. According to the directions, I literally needed to snap Part A into Part B, and voilĂ , we'd have a functioning Diaper Genie. But my feeble pregnant brain could not handle this task.
  • Last night, as we were cleaning up dinner, Nathan asked if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean or dirty. I assured him that the dishes were clean, that I myself had run the dishwasher just that morning. I was 110% confident the dishes were clean. Nathan started to put the dishes away ... and suffice to say, they were not clean.
  • Last but not least, the Shift key on my laptop has been acting up. Nathan asked me, Are both Shift keys broken or is it just the one you normally use? I paused for a long time and finally said, My laptop has two Shift keys? My third grade computer teacher would be so disappointed!