- If you are taking the baby out of her car seat, and you could swear she had a bottle of milk, but you do not see said bottle of milk: SEARCH THE ENTIRE CAR FOR THE MISSING BOTTLE OF MILK.
- As soon as your car starts to smell like an army latrine, SEARCH THE ENTIRE CAR FOR THE SOURCE OF THE DEATH STENCH. Don't just hope and pray that the smell will go away on its own volition. It won't.
- When you find the bottle of rotten milk underneath the driver's seat of the car, don't celebrate and think the latrine smell will disappear. OPEN ALL THE CAR WINDOWS OVER NIGHT, IDIOT. Otherwise, the smell will only get worse.
- When the smell gets worse, check for sour milk stains.
- It is probably a good idea to constantly check for milk stains and then scrub the shit out of those stains immediately, if not sooner.
- But if you are an idiot, and you allow numerous sour milk stains to fester in your car during an extended heat wave, GET YOUR ASS TO THE CAR WASH AND IMMEDIATELY PAY TO HAVE YOUR CAR DETAILED.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Things I Have Recently Learned
Posted by Courtney Henning Novak at 3:12 PM