Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Mommy merit badges

I believe there should be some sort of Girl Scout-esque organization for mommies. Instead of camping, we would go to spas and instead of selling cookies, we'd eat a lot of cheese. Otherwise it's just like the scouts. We would do craft projects, learn how to fashion a diaper out of twigs and leaves, and braid each other's hair. But really, the whole point of this group can be summed up in two words: merit badges. 

Even though this organization does not yet exist (to my knowledge), I am earning a new mommy merit badge as I draft this blog post on my iPhone: sit in parked car while baby finishes nap. 

Some other mommy merit badges I have earned this past year include:

- ER visit (Pippa got dehydrated from a nasty stomach bug)
- plane trip
- road trip
- reading Go, Dog, Go to the baby for the hundredth time 
- sleep training
- pulling the plug on sleep training
- sleep training, take two
- letting baby sleep in crib while sitting up because doctor says that's fine

Oh, how I long for a green vest decorated with mommy merit badges. Except let's substitute a diaper bag for the vest, ok? Even in the sixth grade, I knew how lame that damn vest was.