Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Breaking Up Is Never Easy

I think I'm going to break up with Girls. But, there are only two episodes left of Season Two, so I am going to give Lena Dunham two more chances to redeem herself. Unfortunately, in light of recent episodes (and lots of unnecessary nudity [gag]), that seems highly unlikely.

Man, I hate breaking up with t.v. shows! It's one thing to watch a show once or twice and decide, This show is not for me. For example, everyone and their mother loves Breaking Bad, but I could not get through the first episode. It was way too intense for me. I have no regrets on the Breaking Bad front because our relationship never got past that first crappy blind date.

But it's another thing to watch an entire season of a television show, proclaim your undying affection for it and then realize the relationship is going nowhere and needs to be severed. Of course, a television show is an inanimate objection and there's no need for an uncomfortable break up talk (and there's no chance that Girls will stalk me and send me inappropriate text messages at 2 a.m.) But still, I do not take the decision to break up likely. What if the show and I are just going through a rough patch? What if the show is about to get its shit back together? I always feel obligated to watch just one more episode to see what happens even when my heart knows I'm delaying the inevitable.

I have had my heart broken by television shows before. Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Glee come to mind. I loved those shows intensely ... and then the love was over and every episode felt like a terrible homework assignment. I agonized over my decision to break up with each of those shows; and every time, when I deleted the show's season ticket from my DVR, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. (Especially Glee. I still congratulate myself on ending that abusive relationship.)

I know it will be this way with Girls. But it's tough because I thought Girls had the potential to be one of my soul mate shows. I'd watch every episode religiously; read interviews with all the stars; buy every season on Blu-ray; and spend hours gossiping about the characters as if they were real people. Season One was scandalous and crass, but every episode engaged my attention. I knew we were in love and it was the forever kind of love.

But then along came Season Two, and it turns out I fell in love with a bratty, selfish, obnoxious show. And worse, it's boring. I check email and play Words With Friends, something I usually only do while watching mindless reality shows. I think the problem is I don't like any of the main characters. And it's not just that I don't like them: I'm not interested in their stories. I don't care what happens to Hannah or Marni or even Jessa. I'm only interested in what happens to Ray and Adam (which seems like a minor problem on a show named after the female sex).

Maybe one of the main characters will actually do something interesting next Sunday, but I'm not holding my breath. At least my relationship with Downton Abbey is still strong and wonderful.