Breaking Up Is Never Easy

I think I'm going to break up with Girls. But, there are only two episodes left of Season Two, so I am going to give Lena Dunham two more chances to redeem herself. Unfortunately, in light of recent episodes (and lots of unnecessary nudity [gag]), that seems highly unlikely.

Man, I hate breaking up with t.v. shows! It's one thing to watch a show once or twice and decide, This show is not for me. For example, everyone and their mother loves Breaking Bad, but I could not get through the first episode. It was way too intense for me. I have no regrets on the Breaking Bad front because our relationship never got past that first crappy blind date.

But it's another thing to watch an entire season of a television show, proclaim your undying affection for it and then realize the relationship is going nowhere and needs to be severed. Of course, a television show is an inanimate objection and there's no need for an uncomfortable break up talk (and there's no chance that Girls will stalk me and send me inappropriate text messages at 2 a.m.) But still, I do not take the decision to break up likely. What if the show and I are just going through a rough patch? What if the show is about to get its shit back together? I always feel obligated to watch just one more episode to see what happens even when my heart knows I'm delaying the inevitable.

I have had my heart broken by television shows before. Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Glee come to mind. I loved those shows intensely ... and then the love was over and every episode felt like a terrible homework assignment. I agonized over my decision to break up with each of those shows; and every time, when I deleted the show's season ticket from my DVR, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. (Especially Glee. I still congratulate myself on ending that abusive relationship.)

I know it will be this way with Girls. But it's tough because I thought Girls had the potential to be one of my soul mate shows. I'd watch every episode religiously; read interviews with all the stars; buy every season on Blu-ray; and spend hours gossiping about the characters as if they were real people. Season One was scandalous and crass, but every episode engaged my attention. I knew we were in love and it was the forever kind of love.

But then along came Season Two, and it turns out I fell in love with a bratty, selfish, obnoxious show. And worse, it's boring. I check email and play Words With Friends, something I usually only do while watching mindless reality shows. I think the problem is I don't like any of the main characters. And it's not just that I don't like them: I'm not interested in their stories. I don't care what happens to Hannah or Marni or even Jessa. I'm only interested in what happens to Ray and Adam (which seems like a minor problem on a show named after the female sex).

Maybe one of the main characters will actually do something interesting next Sunday, but I'm not holding my breath. At least my relationship with Downton Abbey is still strong and wonderful.

Some Random Thoughts After The Long Weekend

Did you enjoy your holiday weekend? Was it filled with presidential celebrations? I stopped doing legal work last month, so I was not exactly pining for a work vacation, but it was certainly nice to have Nathan home for an extra day. Lots of random stuff happened over the weekend:

• I finished reading The Good House, by Ann Leary. Loved it! The novel takes place in a small coastal New England town, and the main character, Hildy Good, is the town's most successful realtor. She also happens to be a descendant of one of the witches burned at Salem. The story feels like the novel-equivalent of a three-hour conversation with a long-lost friend who is always plugged in to the best gossip.
• I also finished reading Tiny Beautiful Things, Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, by Cheryl Strayed. Dear Sugar was an advice column that ran on The Rumpus, and Strayed elevated the advice column to an art form. I tried to read this collection of columns as slowly as possible, but I could not put the book down. I've already started reading Strayed's memoir Wild, which so far, is also excellent (and which I had avoided reading because I have some weird bias against the Oprah book club selections).
• Nathan and I watched at least a dozen episodes of The League. We are just slightly obsessed. The show is about five friends who have a fantasy football league, but you don't need to understand football or fantasy football to enjoy the show. It's like the male version of Sex and the City. Warning: Just like SATC, it's very, very crass.
• I watched the season finale of Downton Abbey. When does Season Four start? Next week?! Please?!?! In the meantime, Nathan gave me the BBC version of the first two seasons for Christmas (extra footage! deleted scenes!), so I'll just have to watch that for my Downton Abbey fix.
• And most importantly, we transformed our office into a nursery. By "we," I mean "Nathan, my dad, and my sister" although I did my best to help (which generally meant staying out of the way and saying "thank you"). The nursery still needs some work, but you can definitely tell a baby is going to sleep there some day soon.

Argo and Boss

On Sunday, Nathan and I saw the movie Argo and then we watched the Season Two finale of Boss. Both were excellent. (And thank God for that, because the Cardinals decided to crap out later that night.)

Argo is about the effort to rescue six Americans during the Iran Hostage Crisis. As the embassy was being stormed, these Americans escaped and managed to hide at the Canadian ambassador's house. The CIA created a fake sci-fi movie called Argo, so the Americans could pretend they were members of a Canadian film crew scouting locations in Iran.

The movie is both intense and funny. I cried several times - but those might have been my pregnancy hormones (seeing as I also cried at the end of The Dark Knight). As serious as the subject matter was, I also laughed many times, especially when either John Goodman or Alan Arkin were on screen. The cast, by the way, is ridiculous. Just take a look at the credits.

Ben Affleck was also great. Seriously. He usually annoys the crap out of me. When I first saw a preview for Argo, I told Nathan, "Too bad. Looks like Ben Affleck is going to ruin what could be a great movie." Wow, was I wrong. Apparently Ben Affleck can act, and he's just been choosing the wrong roles. Also, he directed this movie, so maybe he shines best when he has more control over the film. Whatever the reason, I have a new appreciation for Mr. Affleck.

I'd like to go on the record now and predict that this movie will win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It might not be the best film of 2012, but it is certainly up there. In light of the recent tragic events in Libya, it should resonate deeply with viewers. At the end of the movie, the audience at my theater applauded.

Argo seems to be getting the attention it deserves, but unfortunately, Boss is not. Boss is about the Chicago political scene. Kelsey Grammar plays the corrupt mayor who is dying from a rare disease that causes delusions. It is OUTSTANDING: there are lots of surprising plot twists and compelling characters. The writers do an excellent job of creating a lot of random story lines that actually come together in the end.

As we were cleaning up dinner on Sunday, I was happily babbling to Nathan about Boss and the questions that I hoped would be answered during Season Three. Nathan sadly informed me that he had read an article that suggested Boss would not be renewed for a third season.

#$%&@())(*!#@&@!*!!!

Boss is such an original show, and Kelsey Grammar has done an amazing job playing the Chicago mayor AND THIS SHOW MIGHT BE CANCELLED!?!?!

I blame you. Yes, you, the person reading this blog entry. It's your fault. If you don't watch Boss, then you are personally responsible for its poor ratings and tragic demise. Why are you doing this to me? Stop watching Two and a Half Men and shake up your television commitments. YOU NEED TO WATCH BOSS OR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. 

Hatfields & McCoys, And Other Shows

We've been watching a lot of good television lately in the Cranky Pumpkin household. Some favorites:

Hatfields & McCoys, a six hour miniseries created by The What's My Old Stuff Worth Channel The History Channel. What a great series! I did not know much about the Hatfield/McCoy feud, and the show was just fascinating. They did a really good job capturing what life would have been like in the frontier parts of Kentucky/West Virginia during the wake of the Civil War. Kevin Costner plays Anse Devil Hatfield, and Bill Paxton is Randall McCoy. The casting was excellent, the sets and costumes were excellent, the story was excellent - I don't have a single comlaint about the show. The series is available on dvd at the end of the month.

Game of Thrones. I'm sure you've heard of the show. It's the reason we finally signed up for HBO.

Girls. Since we signed up for HBO, I figured I might as well check out Girls. That show is so raunchy. I can't even give an example of how raunchy it is, for fear I will offend my more fragile readers. But it's also hilarious, intelligent, warm and super addictive. I have two episodes left of Season One. I'm not entirely certain what I will do with myself when I finish the season. (I'll probably watch the entire season again in August).

Downton Abbey. I am all caught up to date! Love, love, love, love, love, love, love this show. I will have to own it eventually, so I can watch it whenever I'm cranky.

Final Offer. This is a new show on Discovery Channel. Four antiques dealers are bidding on rare items. It's like a classier Pawn Stars with a game show format. Recently, there was an episode that involved some Star Wars item AND OUR STUPID BITCH DVR SCREWED UP AND JUST RECORDED BLACKNESS. I almost hyperventilated when I realized what had happened.

Weeds. We've been watching Season Seven on DVD, and after we finished the first disc, we immediately sent it back to Netflix for disc two. And then I signed us up for Showtime so we can watch Season Eight as it airs. (Which means we'll probably be addicted to three or four more Showtime shows by the end of the year). 

Boss. We watched this ages ago, when Season One first aired, but I wanted to mention it now since Season Two starts next month. Kelsey Grammer stars as the corrupt mayor of Chicago. The show is gritty and reminds me of Damages, another excellent show (which we'll be watching soon, since Season Four is finally coming out on dvd).

Mad Men. And of course, we watched Mad Men. I still feel a little lost on Sunday evenings, now that the latest season is done. We're probably going to rewatch the entire series sometime soon.

Public Service Announcement: The Bachelorette Returns Next Monday

The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is my secret shame.  For years, I scorned the show and said it was too trashy/exploitative to watch.  Now... well... it's still too trashy/exploitative to watch, but I watch it anyway.  It's my guilty pleasure, and I love to hate it.

I went to college in New Hampshire, and most of my friends live on the other side of the country.  My two best friends from college were also my freshmen roommates.  (Housing assignments were random, but I really should send a thank you basket to the Office of Residential Life).  We've done a good job of staying in touch, but it's tough.  Email is free and quick but sometimes life is boring.  It's easy to write emails about vacations and wedding plans, but I hate writing emails about errands and my latest gym routine. 

Enter: The Bachelor Email Club.  My friends and I watch the show, and then we email about it all week.  If you watch The Bachelor, you always have something to email about!  Worst case scenario, the episode is boring - in which case, we can bitch about ABC for airing a lame episode. 

If you ever struggle to keep in touch with loved ones who live far away, I highly recommend a Trashy Television Email Club.  The Bachelor/Bachelorette works great for this purpose, but I'm sure you can have just as much fun with the Real Housewives or Survivor.  

p.s. I am in denial about the upcoming series finale of House, one of my favorite television shows ever; so the premiere of The Bachelorette could not come at a better time. 

p.p.s. If Hugh Laurie were a contestant on the Bachelorette, that would be even better, albeit uncomfortably weird. 

p.p.p.s. While are you still reading this?  You should be setting your DVR to record The Bachelorette!

p.p.p.p.s. I swear, I will not start blogging about The Bachelorette on a weekly basis.

p.p.p.p.p.s.  I'm done now.

Television Shows: Some Current Faves

I am currently watching the first seasons of Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones, courtesy of Netflix.  I realize the internet does not need another blogger talking about the Granthams or the Starks.  But maybe you've been living in Antartica for the past decade, studying the molds that grow in glacial conditions.  Or maybe you are an alien that crashed on our planet last night and you are using the free wi-fi at Starbucks to contact your mothership, and you stumbled upon my blog.  Or maybe you are just really, really lame.  In which case, I am morally obligated to tell you: Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones are AWESOME.  

Downton Abbey is a period drama that begins in 1912 in rural England.  It takes place at one of those manors/estates that needs a thousand servants, and it's about the lives of the Granthams and their servants.  It's an ensemble show, and I love watching the characters interact.  I've only watched four episodes and already, there are at least twenty regular characters whom I adore.  

When I borrow a dvd from Netflix, I usually just watch the main feature and ignore the bonus features.  But I watch everything on the Downton Abbey discs, including the 30 second commercial from Britain's tourism board.  

Game of Thrones is a fantasy in the tradition of Lord of the Rings, except with more beheadings and less magic.  I've read the books, and the first few episodes bored me.  But I've been hooked since the fourth episode, and it might be time to bite the HBO bullet, just so we can watch Season Two asap. 

Now that I have written this post, I will sleep better tonight.  I cannot bear the idea of anyone missing these shows.

Whitney and New Girl

I am not a television critic, and I know there about a zillion blogs that analyze television shows.  But I just have to mention two of my new favorite shows: Whitney and New Girl.

I have been watching New Girl since it first aired, because I love Zooey Deschanel and want to go shoe shopping with her.  (She can try on all the shoes.  I'll just hold her bags).  I assumed it would be a girly show, but if anything, Nathan likes it more than I do.  Last week, we were so excited for the new episode, that we watched it live, with the commercials.  We just had to wait eight minutes and then we could have watched the DVR recording and skipped the commercials.  But no.  That was unimaginable.  

We only started watching Whitney about a month ago.  It is hilarious. If I had to choose between Whitney and one of my old comedies, like The Office and 30 Rock, I would have to choose Whitney.  The characters are so well-developed, and the cast has great chemistry.  It feels like a show in its fourth or fifth season, but it's just the first.  I hope Whitney airs forever.