Summer Resolution: Beach Day

In April, I wrote a list of Summer Resolutions.  Earlier this month, I crossed "beach day" off the list.  The day after our trip to Hearst Castle, we went to Goleta Beach, right near the UC Santa Barbara campus:

It should be illegal to build a college campus so close to the sea.  Do the students ever go to class?  What do they major in?  Surfing and sunbathing?  If you are the parent of a high school student, DO NOT LET THEM APPLY TO THIS INSTITUTION.  Your child will become a professional beach bum and probably die when a tsunami engulfs the campus.

Fortunately, school was not in session, and the beach was relatively empty.  We played frisbee, frolicked in the ocean, and built sand castles.  Below is the Impenetrable Fortress.  We built it within the waves' range and fortified its structure with seaweed.  Then we watched to see how long it could withstand the waves.  Our little fortress survived for at least twenty minutes!  We built another castle closer to our beach towels and named it "Gondor" because it had a Lord of the Rings vibe; but alas, Gondor was not a photogenic castle.

Nathan and I previously shunned the beach since we have a pool and don't want to deal with Los Angeles beach traffic, but now we are hoping to have at least a few more beach days this summer.  To that end, I recently bought us a beach umbrella at the drugstore.  I also tried to buy some beach lounge chairs; but when I was testing a $15 chair, the damn thing collapsed.  I currently have a bruised butt, and I'm sitting on a heating pad as I write this.  (Sigh). 

When my butt recovers, I'm going to resume my hunt for suitable beach chairs; but this time, I think I'll look for something that won't jeopardize my tush.  I think we can afford a little more than $15 per chair if that's what it takes to keep my ass in one unbruised piece, thank you very much.

Pool Season!

Pool season officially opened for the Cranky Pumpkin household a week before Memorial Day.  Nathan usually opens pool season by cannon balling into the pool when it's still too cold to swim; I dip my toe in and then refuse to swim for another two weeks.  But this year, I'm proud to announce that I beat Nathan into the pool:

I intend to log as many hours as possible in the pool this summer.  To guarantee that everyone has a safe and fun time in our pool, we just have two rules:

If you want to dive into the shallow head and crack your head against the floor of the pool, that's fine - just don't drown.  And if you want to spray yourself with suntan lotion while standing next to an open fire on the grill, that's fine as well - just jump into the pool when your body sets on fire (and don't drown).

I designed our pool safety sign online and bought it from Build A Sign. 

Summer Resolutions

I realize it's only April, but we've been having summer weather in Pasadena this week, so now I have summer on the brain.  Here are a few things I'm hoping to do this summer:

1) Learn how to grill!  Nathan showed me how to operate the grill last summer, but it still intimidates me.  I look at the grill, and I think "massive fire ball."  I assume that if I try to operate it, I'll lose my eyebrows and end up in the ER.  But it's too hot to use the oven in our kitchen during the summer and grilled food is delicious. It's time to conquer this fear. 

2)  I'm probably going to regret putting this in writing, but I'd like to have my extended family over for a BBQ.  Most of my L.A. relatives have never seen our house, and we do have a pool.  A big family BBQ is a good excuse to audition new potato salad recipes.

3) Play croquet!  I love croquet, and I bought a croquet set two years ago ... and never used it.  It's languishing in our basement. 

4)  Play with sparklers!  I bought a box of sparklers last summer for the Fourth of July and forgot to use them.  They are in the basement, next to the croquet set. (I wonder what I am going to buy and forget to use this summer... a bocce ball set?  or maybe a slip and slide?  do they make slip and slides for adults?  They should).

5)  Go to the beach.  I rarely go to the beach because from Pasadena, it is such a production.  There's beach traffic, crowded parking lots, and once you get to the beach, a lot of annoying people.  And why is there so much sand at the beach?  I know that's kind of the purpose, but sand makes me feel itchy and gross.  Can't we just banish sand to the desert and lay down some astro turf at the beach?  But I'd like to make the pilgrimage to the beach at least once this year since the ocean is beautiful, tranquil, inspiring, etc. etc.

6)  Start a vegetable/herb garden.  I've already bought a few basil plants - but that's the easy part.  Keeping the basil alive?  That's the interesting part.

Now that I've written this list, I'm sure it'll start snowing tomorrow.

An Open Letter to Watermelon

Dear Watermelon,

You are so delicious.  I love you.  A lot. 

If I was stranded on a desert island, and could only eat five foods for the rest of my life, I would want to choose you, Watermelon.  Except I couldn't, because you don't have a lot of nutrients or protein.  I would have to choose something like broccoli or blueberries.  A girl needs her antioxidants (I think I read this in a magazine).

Watermelon, I just think you are the best.  I love you so much, I would marry you.  Except that would be weird, and I'm already married.  Ok, if I'm being honest, I suppose I just like you a lot.  But I'm not ready for a committed monogamous relationship.  I still really like apples, bananas, plums, strawberries - oh shit, nearly every fruit I know is delicious. 

Watermelon, keep up the good work! 

Love,
Courtney

I Can't Commit to One Craft

I love crafting, but I am not in a committed relationship with one particular craft.  There are certain crafts I go back to again and again – especially knitting and cross-stitch – but I cheat on them regularly.  Can you blame me?  There are so many wonderful craft projects that must be tried!  Paper mache!  Beading!  Sewing! 

Sometimes, this makes me feel like a bit of a fraud.  If you saw my craft closet, you would assume that I operate a day care facility from my home or that I am the mother of five children under the age of ten; but I am just an attorney that loves crafting.

In the beginning of the summer, I knit two scarves for my brother and sister-in-law, who are volunteering with the Peace Corps in South Africa, where it is currently winter and their house (hut?) is always a balmy 40 degrees.  But after I knit those scarves, I turned to warmer weather crafts.  Who wants a big pile of yarn in their lap during a heat wave? 

These are the crafts that I tried this summer:

Although I loved crafting as a child, I never knew how to make a friendship bracelet.   I remember feeling inadequate as a third grader because I could not whip up bracelets for my friends.  Thanks to this tutorial, I have finally conquered this craft (and I’m only about 25 years late to the party).

I made this wreath for the front door.  That counts as a craft, right?  I did spend an unconscionable amount of time at Michaels, agonizing over what flowers would look best on the front door.  Then, I had to weave them into the grapevine wreath.  Damnit, it counts.

Paper mache: Every few years, I try to make something out of paper mache.  And every few years, it’s a disaster.  I am happy to report that my latest effort was … another disaster.  (Unless you think a collapsed pile of smelly newspaper that refuses to dry is a success.  In which case, yes, it was a success). 

Custom Shutterfly photo albums: Okay, I  realize I am stretching the definition of “craft” here.  But making a Shutterly photo album is related to scrapbooking (they are at least second cousins), even if it doesn’t involve scissors and glue.  As Executive Director of the Cranky Pumpkin, I declare that this counts as a craft.