Update: My Danish Neighbor

As I mentioned in this post last November, we have new neighbors and the new neighbors have a Great Dane.

The only thing that separates my backyard from the Great Dane's is an old white picket fence.  When she first arrived, the Great Dane would charge the fence whenever I went outside.  I was concerned the Great Dane would eventually break through the fence and maul me.

Well, the Great Dane has been my neighbor for just over two months now and things are worse than I could have imagined: the dog ignores me.

That's right.  The Great Dane ignores me.  When I go outside, my existence does not even register on her doggy radar.  It doesn't matter what I'm doing.  I could be training circus cats to jump through a hoop or constructing a tower from raw steaks.  The Great Dane would not even bother to look in my direction.

The dog thinks I'm boring.

I miss the good old days, when she barked frantically and charged towards the fence whenever I stepped outside.  Back then, we had rapport.  It wasn't a particularly harmonious rapport, but at least it was something. 

Now, I'm invisible.  Inconsequential.  When I got outside, I hopefully pause, hoping the Great Dane will at least give me the courtesy of a "woof."   I think I'm in the middle of a psychological war with a dog - and the dog is kicking my ass. 

My New Danish Neighbor

Last weekend, our new neighbors finally moved into the vacant house next door.  In an earlier post, I worried and speculated that the new neighbors might have evil children.  I'm not talking about children who are a little noisy and climb trees.  I'm talking about children who are destined to be on America's Most Wanted list.  

The new neighbors do not have any children.  Instead, they have a dog.  And by dog, I'm not talking about Lassie.  I'm talking about a Great Dane that looks like a mythical beast from the Age of Heroes and is about as large as a small horse.

Rather than panic, I have decided to be cautiously optimistic.  The Great Dane has a reputation of being a gentle giant that is very good-natured and friendly.  My Danish neighbor and I will probably become good friends.  I'll slip her doggie treats, and she'll scare away any intruders.

But I'm a little concerned that my new Danish neighbor is going to tear out my throat before we can become friends.  Our houses are only divided by a white picket fence.  The fence is high, yes, but it is also old.  It will probably turn to dust under the weight of a galloping Great Dane.  And, whenever I go outside, the Great Dane barks and gallops towards the fence.  

Let me tell you what happens when a Great Dane starts to gallop towards you.  You don't think "what a magnificent, noble beast" or "Great Danes are by nature very friendly creatures."  No.  When a Great Dane starts to gallop towards you, you only have one thought: "I'm going to die." 

Like I said, I am cautiously optimistic.  The Dane will obviously get used to my presence and stop charging every time I go outside, right?  However, if I disappear from this blog, please alert the authorities.  Tell them that I have been mauled by a Great Dane and require immediate medical attention.