I don't understand why the baseball uniform includes white pants. I'm sure there's a good reason for the "white pants norm", but they still seem pretty stupid to me.
How much bleach is used every year to keep the white baseball pants looking white? It's probably enough bleach to fill a small ocean.
Wouldn't it make more sense for baseball players to wear brown pants? That way, they could slide in the dirt all day, stains be damned. And the mothers of Little League players across the world could rejoice and cancel their memberships with the Bleach-of-the-Month Club.
Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Baseball's Latest Fashion Statement
As I've mentioned before, my husband is a rabid Cardinals fan and we have been watching a lot of baseball this month. Nathan notices things like the pitcher's stance or how the batter swings the bat. He scrutinizes the Rangers for weaknesses that the Cardinals can exploit. Then, he references some game that was played in 1967 and rattles off a bunch of stats.
I pay attention to the fashion on the field.
Usually, I like to talk about the players' socks. Ideally, a player should be wearing bright socks that are pulled up to the knees. It looks so bad ass! If I could walk around in public wearing white spandex pants and red socks pulled up to my knees, believe me, I would.
But this month, I've been noticing the jewelry more than the socks. Yes, the players are wearing jewelry: specifically, thick colorful braided necklaces. You can see a sample for sale here.
After some exhaustive research (okay, I checked Google), I determined the players are wearing ionic braided titanium necklaces. Apparently, it's a Miracle Necklace. Folks, this necklace does not just look cool. It also improves your balance, reduces fatigue, and aids in recovery if you get a bad boo boo.
I need one of these necklaces for the gym. Not because some ionic titanium is going to improve my form on the rowing machine. (Knowing my luck, I'm probably allergic to ionized titanium in its braided form and will get a horrible rash). But at the gym, I need some credibility. I'm the weakling who uses the five pound weights for her biceps curls (and that's only because I can't find any four pound weights). On the cardio machines, I slog along at the slowest pace. And on the stretching mats, I'm the fool who can't touch her toes.
But once I have an ionic braided titanium necklace, everyone will take me seriously. My gym colleagues will flock to me for advice. Personal trainers will start to read my blog for tips. The gym will give me my own locker room. It will be glorious. I just need to wear an ionic braided titanium necklace like all the cool baseball players.
I pay attention to the fashion on the field.
Usually, I like to talk about the players' socks. Ideally, a player should be wearing bright socks that are pulled up to the knees. It looks so bad ass! If I could walk around in public wearing white spandex pants and red socks pulled up to my knees, believe me, I would.
But this month, I've been noticing the jewelry more than the socks. Yes, the players are wearing jewelry: specifically, thick colorful braided necklaces. You can see a sample for sale here.
After some exhaustive research (okay, I checked Google), I determined the players are wearing ionic braided titanium necklaces. Apparently, it's a Miracle Necklace. Folks, this necklace does not just look cool. It also improves your balance, reduces fatigue, and aids in recovery if you get a bad boo boo.
I need one of these necklaces for the gym. Not because some ionic titanium is going to improve my form on the rowing machine. (Knowing my luck, I'm probably allergic to ionized titanium in its braided form and will get a horrible rash). But at the gym, I need some credibility. I'm the weakling who uses the five pound weights for her biceps curls (and that's only because I can't find any four pound weights). On the cardio machines, I slog along at the slowest pace. And on the stretching mats, I'm the fool who can't touch her toes.
But once I have an ionic braided titanium necklace, everyone will take me seriously. My gym colleagues will flock to me for advice. Personal trainers will start to read my blog for tips. The gym will give me my own locker room. It will be glorious. I just need to wear an ionic braided titanium necklace like all the cool baseball players.
Friday, October 14, 2011
How To Watch The Pennant With Your Husband
My husband is a Cardinals fan. Tonight, the Cardinals are playing Game Four-Wait-Game-Five of the pennant. (I can't keep track. We've been watching a lot of baseball this month).
Before I offer my unsolicited advice, we need to talk about some terminology. When I was a kid, it was called "the pennant." Now it is called the "NCLS" (whatever the hell that means, because seriously, sports are not confusing enough already). Well, I'm not calling it the NCLS. That's too many letters for me to remember. I'm calling it the pennant because (a) that's what I learned in the 80s and (b) "pennant" is a cool word that is not used often enough.
Now that we have cleared that up, we can move on to the advice segment of our programming: how to watch the pennant with a rabid Cardinals fan who would cut off his toe for another World Series title.
Let's start with seating strategy. It is okay to sit on the same couch as the rabid Cardinals fan, but you must remain on high alert. The rabid Cardinals fan may, at any time, suddenly make wild arm gestures. If you sit too close, you will get a concussion.
During the game, you are allowed to talk. But never, at any time, for any reason, say, "But it's just a game." Unless you are trying to incite violence.
Please remember that this is not a good time to talk about "your feelings" or "your relationship." Exception: you may talk about your feelings of rage/disbelief towards the umpire, the relief pitcher, the manager, etc.
And finally, do not remind the rabid Cardinals fan in your life that the team just won the World Series in 2006. That was 2006. This is 2011. He wants another World Series title now, end of discussion.
Before I offer my unsolicited advice, we need to talk about some terminology. When I was a kid, it was called "the pennant." Now it is called the "NCLS" (whatever the hell that means, because seriously, sports are not confusing enough already). Well, I'm not calling it the NCLS. That's too many letters for me to remember. I'm calling it the pennant because (a) that's what I learned in the 80s and (b) "pennant" is a cool word that is not used often enough.
Now that we have cleared that up, we can move on to the advice segment of our programming: how to watch the pennant with a rabid Cardinals fan who would cut off his toe for another World Series title.
Let's start with seating strategy. It is okay to sit on the same couch as the rabid Cardinals fan, but you must remain on high alert. The rabid Cardinals fan may, at any time, suddenly make wild arm gestures. If you sit too close, you will get a concussion.
During the game, you are allowed to talk. But never, at any time, for any reason, say, "But it's just a game." Unless you are trying to incite violence.
Please remember that this is not a good time to talk about "your feelings" or "your relationship." Exception: you may talk about your feelings of rage/disbelief towards the umpire, the relief pitcher, the manager, etc.
And finally, do not remind the rabid Cardinals fan in your life that the team just won the World Series in 2006. That was 2006. This is 2011. He wants another World Series title now, end of discussion.
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