I grew up in Los Angeles while my husband Nathan was born and raised in Nebraska. We recently talked about the differences between Midwest and Southern California mindsets. Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Lightning That Is Miles Away:
- Southern California: What is this sorcery?! We must find shelter!
- Midwest: Yawn.
Cows:
- Southern California: Look! Cows! Moo! Moo cows! Can we milk them? That one is Petunia, that's Daisy, that's Juliet [etc.]
- Midwest: Mmm, lunch.
The Ocean:
- Southern California: Damn tourists, clogging up my freeways so they can put their toes in the ocean.
- Midwest: HOLY CRAP IT'S THE OCEAN! THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VISION I HAVE EVER SEEN! I WANT TO FROLIC AND COMMUNE WITH MY MAKER!
Cruise Control:
- Southern California: How does this work? How do I shut it off? Oh my god, I've lost control of my car! We're all going to die!!!
- Midwest: I almost never put my foot on the accelerator because I'm addicted to cruise control.
Earthquake:
- Southern California: Oh please, if it's less than 6.0 magnitude, I don't want to hear about it.
- Midwest: What is this sorcery?! We must find shelter!
Tornadoes:
- Southern California: What is this sorcery?! We must find shelter! Auntie Em!
- Midwest: Yawn.
Basements:
- Southern California: What are these "basements" of which you speak?
- Midwest: Wait, the house doesn't have a basement? You mean every room in the house has windows? Where do you put the Man Cave??
30 Degrees Farhenheit:
- Southern California: It is sooooo bleeeeping cooooold. Why do we have to go outside? My snot just froze. I want to die.
- Midwest: If it gets much warmer, we'll be playing frisbee at the park.
Celebrities:
- Southern California: I went to high school with the Kardashians, played soccer with Kate Hudson, and lived near Denise Richards. Oh yeah, I also lived near a Baldwin and once said hello to Julia Louis-Dreyfuss while she was jogging. No big deal.
- Midwest: I THINK I JUST SAW PETER GALLAGHER! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!
