Why, after thirty-two years, did I decide to finally try L.A.’s public transportation system today? Well, it all started with a sports injury…
My husband Nathan nearly broke his foot last week playing basketball. His friend drove him to an emergency room in Pasadena. Nathan's car stayed behind in a parking lot in downtown L.A. We knew we had to retrieve the car eventually; but at first, we had other priorities (e.g. making sure the foot did not need to be amputated).
We assumed that Nathan would be able to drive within a week of the injury. This was a bad assumption. It's been eight days, and my poor husband is still hobbling around on crutches. Today, he did something very exciting: he successfully carried a cup of soda from the kitchen to the living room (a stunning distance of twenty feet). Driving is not happening anytime soon. It was time for a rescue operation.
The rescue operation needed a leader. Someone with all the qualities you expect in a hero: courage, compassion, convictions, and charisma. Since no one fitting that description was available, I volunteered.
I needed to get to downtown L.A. in order to pick up Nathan's poor beleaguered vehicle. I thought: I'll drive my car. Then I thought: no, dumb ass, how will you get your car home? Right! I needed an alternative form of transportation.
I had three options: (1) the Metro (a.k.a. the subway); (2) a taxi; or (3) a submarine. I weighed my options:
Metro | Taxi | Submarine | |
Cost | $5 day pass | At least $40, possibly more if there is a traffic jam or the taxi driver is on the lam and needs a hostage | Approximately $3 billion – I would need to buy a submarine, decorate the submarine to look like Red October, bribe government officials to build a secret underwater passage, build said passage, and buy submarine outfits |
Convenient? | Yes! It’s about a 25 minute walk from my house to a metro spot. | Somewhat. You can’t hail a cab in Pasadena (unless you have a few years to spare), but you can call the switchboard. | No, but very bad ass. |
Can I skip the gym if I use this type of transportation? | 25 minute walk to the metro? Hell yeah, skip the gym! | No, you fat lazy slob. You still have to go to the gym. p.s. I hate you. | Unknown, but who cares? You own a submarine. |
Adventure Level: Scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Romancing the Stone/Indiana Jones and 1 being “eating a t.v. dinner while watching Wheel of Fortune.” | People watching + navigating the metro for the first time = A strong 6 | Varies between a negative 5 (traffic, taxi driver is listening to a radio station in a language you do not speak) and an 8 (you become a pawn in a bank robbery). A taxi ride is never a 10. | 11,947,228 – submarines are AWESOME. |
If I had unlimited time and resources, I would have chosen the submarine. But, since I needed to pick up the car before Christmas 2018, I chose public transportation.
And I loved it. I sat on a comfortable if slightly itchy seat in an air-conditioned car. I looked out the window and saw all new parts of Pasadena. Although I would like to eventually own a submarine, for now, the L.A. Metro makes me happy.
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