There are a lot of great things about having this blog. It's an easy and convenient creative outlet. It lets me pretend I'm a "bonified" writer. It helps me send messages to aliens in the Alphapoot System.
But the thing I love most about this blog?
The stats.
Oh my god, I love the stats. As the master of this blog, I am privy to some fun information about the readers of this blog. Don't worry, I don't know who you are. But I do know you are probably Russian. In the past week, this blog received "102 pageviews" from Russia. Now, I don't know if those pageviews all came from one avid Russian reader or 102 different readers. But I like to think that there are 102 Russians following the antics of The Cranky Pumpkin. I bet they are sipping Vodka right now and wearing big fur coats and clutching a well-read copy of Anna Karenina. Hello, Russian Readers!
My most popular post of all time is this one about Caffeine Withdrawal. It's been viewed 2,216 times. I guess the internet is interested in caffeine withdrawal. Maybe I should start a separate blog devoted to caffeine. Except these days, I'm caffeine free, and I intend to stay that way for the rest of my life because caffeine destroys me. It turns me into an anxious, agitated, awful beast woman. So I'm officially done with caffeine. FOR-EFFIN-EVER. Which means I will not be getting rich and famous off a caffeine blog during this lifetime. Oh well.
In the past week, this post about the Hamptons was viewed 24 times. Huh. I guess people like to look at photos of my feet in the ocean? Or maybe my devoted Russian fan base is dreaming about summer? Or maybe the aliens in the Alphapoot System are planning their invasion, and they think the Hamptons are a good place to land their fleet? People, we might never know, and that's okay. No one really cares about this shit in real life.
Anyway, I guess I need to keep blogging and occasionally generate some original content so I can keep checking on my stats BECAUSE BLOG STATS ARE AWESOME.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Random List No. 1: My favorite colors
1. Emerald green
2. Apple green
3. All other shades of green
4. Blue-green
5. Pumpkin orange but only during the fall or when I'm painting
6. Pink when paired with the color green
7. Pink
8. Cherry red
9. Tropical waters blue
10. Gingham. I know its not a color but it should at least be an honorary color.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Happy New Year!
I got a new planner for 2016 and folks, this is it, this is the one. I am ready to swear eternal fidelity to this planner for the rest of time. It's the Goal Digger and I'm in love. I did not know it was possible to have these sorts of feelings about a planner, but here I am, ready to buy a ring and get down on one knee.
It has a page to list your goals for 2016.
Then another page to list your monthly mini goals.
Then, for each week, you can further list your goals.
And for each day, there's space for a To Do list.
And so much more. I could seriously write 10,000 words about the Goal Digger but I don't have the time for that. I have to go ring shopping!!!
It has a page to list your goals for 2016.
Then another page to list your monthly mini goals.
Then, for each week, you can further list your goals.
And for each day, there's space for a To Do list.
And so much more. I could seriously write 10,000 words about the Goal Digger but I don't have the time for that. I have to go ring shopping!!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Week 37
I am 37 weeks into what has been a difficult pregnancy and the end is at last in sight. I'm still taking anti-nausea meds and still, despite those meds, puking vigorously. For the past month, I have been having nothing but frozen yogurt for dinner because that is all I can handle.
I am huge. At my 36 week appointment, my tummy measured at 42 weeks pregnant. That feels about right. Lucky for me, I am getting tons of help with Pippa. I am able to spend most of the day in bed, resting.
I have done very little writing this pregnancy. I tried revising my memoir about postpartum depression but realized I was doing more harm than good. Pregnancy makes me very dumb and claims most of my creativity, so I put my memoir away. I'll get back to it soon enough.
But over the past few weeks, I have felt a growing desire to blog. I'm not about to get crazy and start posting photos and shit like that, but hey, here I am. Maybe I'll post another entry before the end of the year.
Eh, probably not. Don't get your hopes up.
I am huge. At my 36 week appointment, my tummy measured at 42 weeks pregnant. That feels about right. Lucky for me, I am getting tons of help with Pippa. I am able to spend most of the day in bed, resting.
I have done very little writing this pregnancy. I tried revising my memoir about postpartum depression but realized I was doing more harm than good. Pregnancy makes me very dumb and claims most of my creativity, so I put my memoir away. I'll get back to it soon enough.
But over the past few weeks, I have felt a growing desire to blog. I'm not about to get crazy and start posting photos and shit like that, but hey, here I am. Maybe I'll post another entry before the end of the year.
Eh, probably not. Don't get your hopes up.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Blood Glucose Test - Check!
A few hours ago, I crossed an important item off my prenatal checklist: the blood glucose test. This is the test that checks for gestational diabetes. You have to drink a sugary concoction and then, after waiting for an hour or two or four, your blood is drawn. The lab then checks to see how well your body handled the sugar.
For the sugar drink, the phlebotomist offered me a choice between "Orange" and "Fruit Punch" flavors. I chose Orange. The phlebotomist gave me a horrified look, so I asked which flavor is better. "Fruit punch!" she declared, so I switched my request. She brought me a plastic container filled with clear liquid. It had a funny tang. The phlebotomist told me I had five minutes to drink the entire thing. I gulped it down in less than a minute. The phlebotomist was not impressed.
Now, if you search online, you will find no shortage of complaints about the blood glucose test. People write about the sugar drink as if it is some foul funk concocted in the depths of hell. It's not. In college, at parties, the fraternities served "beer" and that shit tasted like some foul funk brewed in the depths of hell. But did people whine? Well, yes, but we still chugged that shit as if it might bestow immortality, fame and wealth on the drinker. I have a point I'm trying to make here, but my pregnant brain lost it.
Pregnant ladies sometimes have to wait two or four hours before having their blood drawn. I just had to wait for one hour, which I happily spent reading. They also sometimes need to fast before the test. My doctor just asked me to avoid sugary foods before the test and to brush my teeth without toothpaste. During the one hour between imbibing the sugar drink and having my blood drawn, I could not eat or drink. Big deal. One lousy hour. After the test, I rewarded myself with a bagel. It was delicious.
A lot of pregnant women complain that the sugar drink makes them feel dizzy and nauseous. I have suffered from plenty of nausea during this pregnancy, but I did not feel a twinge of nausea during the test. Maybe my stomach is weird. After all, I still puke almost every day. Maybe my body was trying to be nice: I experience excessive puking throughout pregnancy, but hey, at least I feel fine during the blood glucose test!
Now that I've checked this item off my To Do list, I feel as if I am in the pregnancy home stretch. The third trimester is just two weeks and two days away (not that I'm counting or anything). I can do this!
For the sugar drink, the phlebotomist offered me a choice between "Orange" and "Fruit Punch" flavors. I chose Orange. The phlebotomist gave me a horrified look, so I asked which flavor is better. "Fruit punch!" she declared, so I switched my request. She brought me a plastic container filled with clear liquid. It had a funny tang. The phlebotomist told me I had five minutes to drink the entire thing. I gulped it down in less than a minute. The phlebotomist was not impressed.
Now, if you search online, you will find no shortage of complaints about the blood glucose test. People write about the sugar drink as if it is some foul funk concocted in the depths of hell. It's not. In college, at parties, the fraternities served "beer" and that shit tasted like some foul funk brewed in the depths of hell. But did people whine? Well, yes, but we still chugged that shit as if it might bestow immortality, fame and wealth on the drinker. I have a point I'm trying to make here, but my pregnant brain lost it.
Pregnant ladies sometimes have to wait two or four hours before having their blood drawn. I just had to wait for one hour, which I happily spent reading. They also sometimes need to fast before the test. My doctor just asked me to avoid sugary foods before the test and to brush my teeth without toothpaste. During the one hour between imbibing the sugar drink and having my blood drawn, I could not eat or drink. Big deal. One lousy hour. After the test, I rewarded myself with a bagel. It was delicious.
A lot of pregnant women complain that the sugar drink makes them feel dizzy and nauseous. I have suffered from plenty of nausea during this pregnancy, but I did not feel a twinge of nausea during the test. Maybe my stomach is weird. After all, I still puke almost every day. Maybe my body was trying to be nice: I experience excessive puking throughout pregnancy, but hey, at least I feel fine during the blood glucose test!
Now that I've checked this item off my To Do list, I feel as if I am in the pregnancy home stretch. The third trimester is just two weeks and two days away (not that I'm counting or anything). I can do this!
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
14.5 Weeks To Go!
I am 25 weeks pregnant, and my due date is just 14.5 weeks away - HURRAH! My body is not very good at this whole pregnancy thing, so it will be a relief to be done and have the baby in my arms. I cannot wait to eat food! For the past four and a half months, I have been living off of bread, cheese, apples and scrambled eggs. I dream about salads and vegetables and pretty much all of the rest of the food in the world. But my body cannot handle flavor. Two weeks ago, I ate a half dozen strawberries. The puking was epic. I might as well have drunk a couple of bottles of wine.
At this point, I am used to my bland boring diet and all my other fun symptoms: my superhuman sense of smell; the constant congestion; the dry eyes (I miss my contacts); and even the back pain. Yes, I am even used to the back pain. Every night, I fire up my super deluxe heating pad and then I schedule as many massages and physical therapy appointments as possible.
Earlier this month, I did have one unacceptable symptom: Insomnia. I know that the closer I get to the due date, the more I will struggle to sleep. But I am still relatively comfortable when I lie down in bed (after setting up a very elaborate pillow fort - two pillows for my feet, three for my head/back, and one on either side of my stomach). I was not cool with the second trimester insomnia, so I paid attention to what was happening, realized I was feeling physical symptoms of anxiety, and decided to cut caffeine cold turkey. You can drink up to 150 mg of caffeine each day when pregnant (and I've seen some books/websites that allow more), but I have always been ultra sensitive to caffeine. It's my Kryptonite. So I quit, dealt with a few days of withdrawal symptoms (mainly extreme fatigue), and now I feel much better and sleep fine. Sure, I get up when the baby starts playing a soccer match in my uterus, or when my bladder gets fussy, but if I go to bed at 9, I manage to get enough sleep.
I do hate how many times I have to tell Pippa "No." "No, we can't go to the zoo." "No, mommy can't sit on the floor." "No, mommy can't run after you." "No, mommy can't go outside, it's too hot." But it's all for a good cause - she's getting a baby brother - and she will not remember all of the No's and all of the afternoons spent watching The Cat in the Hat and Frozen. Besides, Child Services is not going to take her away if I let her have a popsicle for dinner. Which may or may not have happened last night.
At this point, I am used to my bland boring diet and all my other fun symptoms: my superhuman sense of smell; the constant congestion; the dry eyes (I miss my contacts); and even the back pain. Yes, I am even used to the back pain. Every night, I fire up my super deluxe heating pad and then I schedule as many massages and physical therapy appointments as possible.
Earlier this month, I did have one unacceptable symptom: Insomnia. I know that the closer I get to the due date, the more I will struggle to sleep. But I am still relatively comfortable when I lie down in bed (after setting up a very elaborate pillow fort - two pillows for my feet, three for my head/back, and one on either side of my stomach). I was not cool with the second trimester insomnia, so I paid attention to what was happening, realized I was feeling physical symptoms of anxiety, and decided to cut caffeine cold turkey. You can drink up to 150 mg of caffeine each day when pregnant (and I've seen some books/websites that allow more), but I have always been ultra sensitive to caffeine. It's my Kryptonite. So I quit, dealt with a few days of withdrawal symptoms (mainly extreme fatigue), and now I feel much better and sleep fine. Sure, I get up when the baby starts playing a soccer match in my uterus, or when my bladder gets fussy, but if I go to bed at 9, I manage to get enough sleep.
I do hate how many times I have to tell Pippa "No." "No, we can't go to the zoo." "No, mommy can't sit on the floor." "No, mommy can't run after you." "No, mommy can't go outside, it's too hot." But it's all for a good cause - she's getting a baby brother - and she will not remember all of the No's and all of the afternoons spent watching The Cat in the Hat and Frozen. Besides, Child Services is not going to take her away if I let her have a popsicle for dinner. Which may or may not have happened last night.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
The Dawn of a New Era
I am attempting to write this post from my local Panera. The internet connection is a bit wonky, so we'll see how successful this endeavor is. Pippa is not with me. She is at preschool camp! Today is her first day. I stayed for the first hour and since she was happy and busy and ignoring me, I said goodbye and left. She needed two rounds of hugs and kisses, but there were no tears.
Well, she did not shed any tears. I may have gotten a little misty eyed walking to my car.
My morning sickness is basically gone - so long as I take my anti-nausea meds at night. My stomach is still very weak and can only handle a half dozen foods; but if I follow my bland diet, I don't spend the afternoon puking. Yay!
I had some back pain a few weeks ago, but I saw a physical therapist and now I'm doing great. I can't do everything I normally can do. Like standing. I can't stand for more than a couple minutes at a time. It's easier for me to move and walk around than to stand in one place. But that's fine! I'm usually moving after a toddler anyway.
I've been spending a lot of time in the pool - swimming laps, taking a water aerobics class (fun!), and just relaxing. Being in the water feels great. I miss Zumba, but I'm loving all the pool time. Sometimes I get ambitious and think about taking swim lessons so I can master some new strokes. But not now. Not while I'm pregnant. Right now I am just doing what works for my pregnant body and I don't need some swim instructor screwing me up by insisting on proper form. Plus I really don't have time for swim lessons. This is more of a ten year plan.
I am in my twentieth week of pregnancy, which means I'm a little more than halfway done. Woot woot! I'm sure there are women who adore being pregnant and want the pregnancy to last forever. I am not one of those women. I'm ready to meet my little boy and devour a big bowl of salad.
Well, she did not shed any tears. I may have gotten a little misty eyed walking to my car.
My morning sickness is basically gone - so long as I take my anti-nausea meds at night. My stomach is still very weak and can only handle a half dozen foods; but if I follow my bland diet, I don't spend the afternoon puking. Yay!
I had some back pain a few weeks ago, but I saw a physical therapist and now I'm doing great. I can't do everything I normally can do. Like standing. I can't stand for more than a couple minutes at a time. It's easier for me to move and walk around than to stand in one place. But that's fine! I'm usually moving after a toddler anyway.
I've been spending a lot of time in the pool - swimming laps, taking a water aerobics class (fun!), and just relaxing. Being in the water feels great. I miss Zumba, but I'm loving all the pool time. Sometimes I get ambitious and think about taking swim lessons so I can master some new strokes. But not now. Not while I'm pregnant. Right now I am just doing what works for my pregnant body and I don't need some swim instructor screwing me up by insisting on proper form. Plus I really don't have time for swim lessons. This is more of a ten year plan.
I am in my twentieth week of pregnancy, which means I'm a little more than halfway done. Woot woot! I'm sure there are women who adore being pregnant and want the pregnancy to last forever. I am not one of those women. I'm ready to meet my little boy and devour a big bowl of salad.
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