We live in the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains. We see the mountains every day and never tire of them:
This is a terrible picture of the mountains, but I'm not trying to convince you of their beauty and majesty. For purposes of this post, you just need to know (1) that I took this photo just a few blocks from my house and (2) I live really, really, really close to the San Gabriel Mountains.
Earlier this month, I saw several helicopters hovering near the base of the mountains. I assumed there was either a wildfire or a stranded hiker and went online to see what the fuss was about.
Bears. A mama bear and her two cubs has wandered out of the mountains and were napping in a tree in Altadena.
My first thought was: "Oh! So cute! I hope they are safe!" (See an article/photo here).
My second thought was: "Hang on! That's like two miles from my house! Holy crap! There are black bears in the mountains? Son of a #&(@ what the &@(*&)*@ you have got to be @)(**@)#@@#!!!!!"
An Altadena resident saw the bears when he went outside for his morning paper. I would have crapped my pants. Not just figuratively, but literally. Then I would have fainted and the bear would have had its way with me.
I have looked at the San Gabriel Mountains a thousand times, and it never occurred to me that BEARS live there. Rabbits, yes; lizards, of course; maybe even some snakes; but bears? I know bears live in California, but surely they live in other mountains. As in, mountains that I cannot see from my front lawn.
Nathan, of course, thinks it would be cool if a bear strolled up our driveway. I pray that day never comes. But if it does, it will at least be fodder for a good blog post.
And then I will immediately call the realtor and start looking for a new house that is out of black bear range. (Or any bears for that matter, excluding pandas, of course).
A few months ago, I became obsessed with the idea that I had to use organic shampoo and conditioner. I wanted to be healthier! Organic shampoo was healthier! If I kept using regular shampoo, my scalp would start to rot!
I went to Wholefoods and bought two different organic shampoo/conditioner sets. My organic shampoos were paraben free! and sulfate free! with no phthalates or petrochemicals! I have no idea what a paraben is! Or a phthalate! But they sound scary!
I assumed it would take my hair a few months to adjust to this healthier regime, but in the end, my hair would thrive. This was a stupid assumption. My hair despised the organic products. The longer I used organic shampoo, the more my hair resembled a bale of hay. If I had kept this experiment up until October, I could easily have dressed up as a scarecrow for Halloween - everyone would have assumed I was wearing a straw wig, but it would have just been my hippie-dippy paraben-deprived hair.
So I cracked. Maybe parabens and phthalates are seeping into my scalp, but I doubt it. The shampoo sits on my head for a minute, tops, and I apply the conditioner to my hair ends. Am I really supposed to believe that this routine is going to give me cancer? I think this is just a scare tactic used as a marketing strategy by organic companies.
When I returned to regular shampoo, loaded with good old fashioned sulfates and parabens, my hair rejoiced. I went on a bender at a beauty supply shop with my sister and bought several new shampoos. After the hippie ordeal I subjected it to, my hair deserves some pampering.
p.s. Spellcheck does not recognize the words "paraben" or "phthalate." Interesting, very interesting.
I love everything about expensive shower scrubs - except the price tag. My inner Scrooge throws a conniption fit at the idea of spending $40 (or more!) for a small container of scrub that is going to get washed down the drain.
I have tried buying cheap drugstore scrubs, but they suck. If you have found a cheap but wonderful scrub, let me know! But I don't believe such a product exists. Drugstore scrubs tend to be watery concoctions that smell nice but do little in the exfoliation department.
Last summer, before my wedding, I bought two lovely scrubs that made my inner Scrooge scowl. But, I was getting married, and wearing a strapless dress with a low back, so I could justify the expense. After the wedding, I hoarded my scrubs and tried to make them last forever.
Alas, the last bit of scrub recently went down the shower drain, and I couldn't bring myself to splurge on another expensive product. So I made myself a shower scrub using olive oil and Kosher salt. It was glorious and left my skin feeling smooth and moisturized, just like an expensive scrub. Finally, a compromise between my inner Scrooge and my inner Bathsheba. Hallelujah!
Then I almost killed myself.
My shower floor was covered with olive oil, and guess what? When covered with olive oil, my shower floor gets slick. Very, very, slick. And I am clumsy. Very, very clumsy. Maybe an Olympic gymnast can safely shower in a tub covered in a layer of olive oil, but me? Let's just say I came dangerously close to falling and spending the day in the shower, praying Nathan would get home early.
I got out of the shower intact and immediately dried away all the olive oil with a towel. WHEW. DIY crisis averted. And now I have a good excuse to splurge on some shower scrub: the olive oil might seem cheaper than the $40 scrub, but the ER bills make it way more expensive in the long run.
When I started to write this post, I did not know if "tan lines" was spelled as one or two words. I guessed it was just one word but Google proved me wrong. I also discovered there is a very thorough Wikipedia entry for tan lines. I can't decide if it's a joke entry or not, but I now know more about tan lines than I thought possible. (And at least someone at Wikipedia has a sense of humor).
Some brides go to great measures to look tanned for their wedding day. They sunbathe for hours and visit those spray tanning booths. I know the spray tan booths are safe and won't give me cancer, but I also know that if I went, my experience would be similar to the Friends episode when Ross tried to get a tan.
Here's the advice portion of this post: you need to make a decision about your tanning status several months before the wedding. If you want a nice tan, figure out how to achieve that glow well in advance of the happy day. Don't visit a spray tan booth for the first time a week before your wedding!
If you are naturally pale, embrace your paleness! Your groom fell in love with you, paleness and all, and he doesn't expect you to become a different person for your wedding. (If he does, you need to dump that jerk immediately if not sooner). But if you are going to be pale on your wedding day, you need to be aware of tan lines and how they will look with your gown.
I myself am a pale vampire. If I sit in the sun for too long, I turn to ash. I apply sunblock religiously, even on rainy days. When I'm out in the garden, I wear a big absurd sun hat. For my wedding, I decided to be my usual, pale self.
My dress was strapless with a low back and floor length skirt. This meant my legs were on their own. There could be zebra-stripe tan lines on my thighs, for all I cared. But my arms, back, shoulders, neck and collarbone region? I had to keep that zone an even shade of pale.
And thus began a constant war, Courtney vs. the Sun. For several months, I carried sunblock with me everywhere and reapplied it obsessively. I avoided the sun and if I was outside, I took long detours just to stay in the shade. If I wanted to swim outside, I wore a strapless swimsuit.
Be aware of your skin tone and the amount of time you spend in the sun (unless you think a farmer's tan is hot). But also know that a tan line is not going to ruin your wedding or marriage. I stopped paying attention to my sun exposure about two days before the wedding and had a faint tan line as I exchanged wedding vows with Nathan. But you know what? The wedding was still perfect, tan lines and all.
I got married in July 2011, and now I have lots of opinions about weddings.
My baby sister Katherine (aka Spucky) is ten years younger than me. Someday, she
will get engaged and I will want to go into crazy big sister mode and inundate
her with advice. Instead, I'm writing blog posts so when she gets engaged, she
can read (or not read) my advice at her leisure.
The 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee airs next week on May 30th and 31st on ESPN. Set your dvr now! If you follow the link above, there's a game you can play to test your spelling skills. (Spoiler alert: I would not have qualified for the semifinals, but I knew that before I took the test).
I loved impromptu spelling bees in elementary school. (I went to Catholic school, and we never had formal events with ribbons and trophies). But in the fourth grade, I had a humiliating spelling bee experience.
At the start of the bee, my homeroom teacher announced that she was just going to ask easy words during the first round so no one would get out. She asked me to spell the word "sweet" as in "this cookie is sweet" and I spelled "s-w-e-a-t" as in "someone left this cookie in the locker and now it's covered in sweat." Ashamed, I sat down and watched the rest of the bee.
I may be a spelling bee loser, but I'm still fascinated by the National Spelling Bee. The children are so intense, and they can spell the most ridiculous words, like insouciant, syllepsis, and logorrhea. (Here's a list of words that past spelling bee champions spelled to claim the crown. Last year's winner spelled "cymotrichous," which is just an uber-nerdy way to say "wavy hair").
If you like the National Spelling Bee, then I highly recommend the documentary Spellbound, which follows several contestants as they prepare for the big showdown. It's amazing to see the committment that these sixth graders have to memorizing the dictionary. (When I was in the sixth grade, I spent my free time listening to the New Kids on the Block and playing with my stuffed animals. I was never in any danger of going to the National Spelling Bee).
p.s. I hope there aren't any egregious spelling errors in this blog post, because that would be embarrassing.
I've officially overdosed on ham sandwiches. These are the ingredients for my new favorite springtime lunch:
That's right, kids, you just need three ingredients: an avocado; goat cheese; and one or two slices of crusty bread.
Lightly toast your bread. While the bread toasts, mash together half an avocado and a couple tablespoons of goat cheese.
Avocados = delicious. Goat cheese = delicious.
Avocados + Goat Cheese = So Insanely Delicious, Fireworks Will Explode In Your Mouth And You Will Do Backflips, Even If You've Never Taken A Gymnastics Class In Your Life
Admire your handiwork. Then spread the Avocado Goat Cheese Amazingness on your lightly toasted baguette and voila, you have a delicious springtime lunch:
If you are feeling fancy, you could add a sprinkle of salt or some tomato slices.
Warning: put the goat cheese and any remaining avocado back in the fridge before you start eating. Otherwise, you will be sorely tempted to finish the entire avocado in one sitting. Not that I'm talking from personal experience (blush).
Yes, I'm thirty-three. And yes, I still love children's movies. By "children's movies," I mean "intelligent, funny movies that just so happen to be animated and/or involve puppets." I do not mean "crappy movies that make you want to gouge your eyes out and never have children/abandon any children you already have." Those movies suck, and I refuse to watch them.
These are my favorite children's movies. They are highly entertaining and should not be missed. No matter how old I get, I hope to always love animation and puppets.
1. Despicable Me - I dare you to watch this movie and not fall in love with the minions. If you don't love the minions, please stop reading this blog. The sequel is coming out in 2013, and I cannot wait!
2. Up
3. The Toy Story Trilogy
4. The Muppets - Just the new one. I rewatched The Muppets Take Manhattan recently and it's a children's movie in the worst sense of the term. It made my soul hurt a little. But the new one makes me smile until my face hurts.
5. Labyrinth - David Bowie is the Goblin King in a Jim Henson movie. Bowie composed the music. And he wears spandex. Enough said.
6. Lilo and Stitch - The adventures of a crazy destructive alien in Hawaii. Just thinking about this movie makes my heart swell.
7. Disney's Beauty and the Beast
8. The Nightmare Before Christmas - Stop-motion animation + Tim Burton + Danny Elfman soundtrack = one of my favorite movies in the world.
9. Megamind
10. Wall-E
11. Fantastic Mr. Fox - Wes Anderson + George Clooney's voice + animation = why the hell is this movie on my Amazon wishlist and not yet in my dvd cupboard?
Notable omission: Disney's The Little Mermaid. I adore this movie, but my baby sister watched this movie to death. This was back in the pre-DVD world, and she would cry while we were rewinding the movie so she could watch it again. Sometimes, we told her "the Little Mermaid is sleeping now" just so we could watch something that did not involve singing sea creatures. I have not seen this movie in years, but I could probably recite at least 80% of the lines from memory. As a matter of principle, I'm leaving this movie off the list.
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