LOTR: My Husband Has Questions; I Don't Have Answers

My husband Nathan loves Star Trek; I love Lord of the Rings.  Both series are beloved by nerds, but there's an important difference between the two.  The Star Trek universe makes sense.  Middle Earth?  Not so much.

Since meeting Nathan, I have learned the difference between Captains Picard and Kirk.  I know that Spock is half-human, half-Vulcan.  But the Star Trek universe is complicated, and there's a lot that I don't yet know.  When I have a question about a character or a storyline, Nathan always has an answer.  And his answers are disturbingly impressively detailed, with references to treaties and scientific principles.

I fell in love with the Lord of the Rings in sixth grade.  My dad swears I read The Hobbit plus the entire trilogy during my spring vacation.  I am choosing to have selective amnesia on this one because seriously, who is that nerdy? 

The first movie, The Fellowship of the Ring, was released in December 2001.  I had just finished my first semester of law school and was still feeling sad from 9/11.  The previews looked "eh", but my cousin Emily insisted we see the movie on opening night.  And oh my god, the movie made my heart sing and I felt truly happy for the first time since 9/11.  I saw the movie again during its opening weekend with my sister.  She claims we saw the movie five times in the theater during its first release.  Again, I'm choosing to have selective amnesia because seriously, who is that nerdy? 

I love the the Lord of the Rings movies deeply and without question.  When I'm cranky, they are a shortcut to happiness.  Recently, my husband and I rewatched the trilogy.  Nathan had a lot of questions.  And I'll be damned, but I could not answer any of them.

Nathan: Why didn't Gandalf have any kids?  Wouldn't Gandalf's children have special magical powers to help defeat Sauron? 

Me: I don't know.  I bet he has to be celibate in order to be a wizard.

Nathan: Where are the other continents?  Why aren't they concerned about Sauron's rise to power?

Me: Um...

Nathan: Why didn't Frodo just ride one of the eagles to Mt. Doom?  Wouldn't that be faster?

Me: Yes, but then there wouldn't have been much of a story.

Maybe if I had actually read the Silmarillion, I could answer these questions.  I may be a nerd, but I'm not that nerdy.  If I was stranded on an island and had to choose between Star Trek and The Lord of the Rings, I'd probably choose Frodo - but Spock would give him a run for his money.